If you have been carrying a heaviness that will not lift, or if everyday tasks feel like a constant struggle, that is a signal worth paying attention to. Knowing when to reach out for help can change the shape of your life. We spoke with Carrie E. Bearden, Ph.D., professor of psychiatry and psychology at UCLA, for guidance on how to tell when support is needed and how to take the first step.
When Coping No Longer Works
Three simple questions can help you decide whether what you are feeling is something you can work through on your own or something that would benefit from professional input. Ask yourself how intense and long-lasting your feelings are, and whether they’re interfering with work, school, or relationships. Dr. Bearden explains this threshold clearly.
“This hinges on severity, duration [feelings of sadness lasting more than two weeks], and problems with functioning [for example, inability to work, attend school, or maintain relationships]. Anyone experiencing persistent hopelessness [for example, thinking ‘things will never get better’], intense guilt, or any thoughts of self-harm should definitely seek professional help.
This isn t meant to scare you; these are everyday clinical signs. If any apply, consider getting support.
Talk It Out First
You do not have to commit to months of therapy to see whether it helps. A single visit can be a useful test. A therapist can help you name what is happening, offer tools to reduce immediate distress, and point you toward next steps. Dr. Bearden encourages a low-pressure approach.
“Sometimes it is hard to predict. Meeting with a therapist is a good way to get started, even if you don’t think it’s for you, or you’re not sure about the fit, talking to someone other than your friends and family is often helpful.”
That first conversation can clarify whether your struggles are likely to respond to short-term support or require a longer plan. It can also give you language to explain what you are feeling to a loved one or a primary care provider.
Check Your Strategies
A practical self-check can help you decide whether your current coping strategies are serving you. Ask yourself whether you are thriving or just getting by.
“It really goes back to Question 1, do you feel like you re thriving , or just barely getting by? Even if you’re not experiencing clinical depression, therapy can provide a helpful reset for thoughts and behaviors that may not be optimal,” Dr. Bearden said.
Look for concrete signs that coping strategies are failing. Persistent exhaustion, withdrawal from people, increased reliance on alcohol or other substances, slowed thinking, or a longer recovery time after stress are all signals that outside support could help. Think of these as signals that your coping capacity needs support.
Practical Ways to Begin
If you’re unsure where to start, national organizations and helplines can connect you with local options. Dr. Bearden points to several places that make the first step easier:
- SAMHSA National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP, for treatment referrals and local resources.
- NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness.
- Anxiety and Depression Association of America.
You can also ask a primary care provider for a referral. Many people begin there and find that a short course of therapy or a referral to a specialist is all they need to regain momentum.
Why Acting Sooner Matters
There is a practical reason to act sooner rather than later. Early engagement with care often leads to better outcomes and can shorten the time you spend struggling. Dr. Bearden offers a reminder that therapy is flexible and that seeking help does not mean you are committing to a lifetime of treatment.
“Earlier treatment is associated with better outcomes! And symptoms may feel manageable, but you may not realize how much you ve been struggling until you have a chance to really open up about it. Therapy doesn’t mean you have to be on medication, if that is a concern, or that you need to stay in it forever. But the earlier you can get started on things that will make you feel better, if you’re struggling- why wait?”
If you are thinking about reaching out but feel unsure, consider treating it as an experiment. A short period of professional support can restore energy and help you enjoy life again.
If you are in immediate danger or thinking about harming yourself, call 911 or your local emergency number right away. You can also call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Someone is ready to listen and help you through this.
Resources:
Home | SAMHSA – Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)